


This Song is Addressed to My Sisters

by BookishBrigitta



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abortion, Alien Biology, Angst, BAMF Gamora (Marvel), BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bechdel Test Pass, Discussion of Abortion, Don't Like Don't Read, F/M, Feels, Female Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mention of violence (Canon typical), Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not a literal song, Trigger warning: abortion, Women Being Awesome, Women helping Women, not a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookishBrigitta/pseuds/BookishBrigitta
Summary: Gamora finds herself in a bit of a predicament before the battle with Thanos.  Natasha helps her through it.This song is addressed to my sistersAny man who is present may listenAny priest, any public official, any physicianBut it gives him no license to touch usWe make the decision--"Rosie-Jane," Malvina Reynolds
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov (hinted at), Gamora/Peter Quill
Kudos: 17





	1. Breathe (2 AM)

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger/Content Warning: Abortion
> 
> It is the basis for the entire plot, so if you do not wish to read about it for any reason, click away now. And if you choose to leave a comment, please be respectful, especially of the other readers. Thank you!
> 
> I've done my best to make sure this fic is medically accurate (research, using actual drug names, etc), but please let me know if you spot an error. I have, however, taken liberties with lab equipment because the MCU is definitely ahead of real life in terms of scientific advances. Additionally, the last chapter of this fic will be a list of resources for you to do your own research if you wish. :)
> 
> Finally, not all the songs I use as chapter titles are actually about abortion. I just chose songs I thought fit the theme of each chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_“Two A.M. and she calls me_  
>  _‘Cause I’m still awake_  
>  _‘Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?’”_  
>  \--Anna Nalick**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to a mix of plot bunnies, imagining stuff before Infinity War was released, and anger at not seeing these two awesome ladies meet, in this universe, the Guardians do not try to stop Thanos by themselves, but instead go straight to Avengers HQ to return Thor.

Only another assassin could have heard Gamora’s quiet footsteps as she entered the kitchen of the Avengers’ Facility. Natasha, waiting for the kettle to boil, was a well-matched opponent. She looked up immediately.

“Hello,” Gamora said tentatively.

“Hi,” said Natasha. “Tea?”

The alien nodded, and Natasha poured the boiling water into two mugs. She could sense Gamora’s reservation. The Guardians had only been at the Facility a few days, having initially only come to Earth to return Thor to the Avengers. They stayed in the hopes that the combined power of the Avengers and the Guardians could bring Thanos down, but the two groups had yet to really get comfortable with one another.

“Were you looking for someone?” Natasha asked. “I saw Drax and Rocket in the training room on my way here.”

“Actually, I was looking for you, Agent Romanoff.”

“Call me Natasha, please. What can I help you with?"

Gamora paused, clenching the mug between her hands. “It’s something I need you to be...discreet about.”

“Okay,” Natasha said slowly. “Would you rather we talk about it in my private quarters?”

“Yes,” she replied, voice colored with relief.

“This way.”

Natasha led her down the corridors and up a flight of stairs before stopping at a door she scanned her palm print to open. Inside, the room looked much the same as the ones Tony had put the Guardians up in: a spacious, but cozy living area with a door on the rear wall leading to the bedroom and en suite. She motioned for Gamora to take a seat before situating herself on a sofa across from Gamora.

“So,” she said. “You wanted to talk.”

“Yes,” Gamora affirmed, taking a breath to steady herself. “Where would someone on Terra go to terminate a pregnancy?”

Natasha blinked, but otherwise contained her surprise (she _was_ a trained spy, after all). She hadn’t known quite what to expect when Gamora said wanted to talk to her, but of all the scenarios she could have anticipated, this wasn’t one of them. Her mind was both utterly blank and working overdrive at the same time.

Gamora had come prepared for stunned silence. “I just need a name, a place,” she said. “If you can just tell me where that is…”

“Have you gone to the med-bay in the Facility? I’m sure Dr. Cho would help,” said Natasha.

Gamora shook her head. “Dr. Cho is stuck in Korea. Besides, I can’t go to the med-bay. Not for this. The record system is too big of a target.”

“Look, they've been dealing with superheroes and undercover agents for years. They know how to keep records secure.”

“Nothing is safe from Thanos. Not to mention the people inside the Facility. All it would take is one afternoon of boredom for Rocket to hack the system. The more people know, the less safe we all are. I need an external resource, somewhere inconspicuous.”

“I don’t want to be rude, but you can’t exactly walk into a Planned Parenthood and expect to stay anonymous. Especially since you aren’t from Earth. Even if the providers keep everything confidential, all it would take is one patient or passerby or protester to snap a photo and the Guardians' cover is blown.”

Gamora fought to keep her expression neutral as her plans came crashing down and panic set in. They were gearing up for the fight of their lives. Everyone had to be at the top of their game; there was no way she could fight Thanos in this state of perpetual distraction, exhaustion, and nausea. And if they couldn’t defeat Thanos, there would be no world for her child to come into--or, stars forbid, Thanos would take the child. Gamora cared too much--about Peter, about the other Guardians, about the universe, and, yes, about the fetus--to risk losing the battle. 

“What am I going to do?” asked Gamora.

Though she spoke softly, Natasha could hear the despair in the other woman’s voice and felt terribly guilty. And that was the moment Natasha decided she was all in. She was already formulating a plan, assessing step-by-step what needed to be done.

“You can’t go to a clinic. But I think can help you. How far along are you?”

“About 4 weeks. I scanned myself on the ship,” Gamora said.

“Okay, we can work with that,” said Natasha. “There are medications women can use to terminate pregnancies this early on. It shouldn’t be hard for me to get my hands on them. But I don’t know how a non-human would react to them.”

“I can handle it,” Gamora said resolutely.

“I know you’re desperate,” said Natasha, looking Gamora in the eyes. “But you can’t take the meds without having any idea of what they would do to your body. You’re worried you won’t be able to fight Thanos if you’re pregnant? Well, you _definitely_ won’t be able to fight him if you’ve bled out or gone into anaphylactic shock.” 

“Then why did you even bring it up?” she said bitterly.

“Because I know someone who can handle the chemistry. But we’ll need to bring one other person in on this.”

* * *

“Are you sure he’ll keep quiet?” Gamora asked as they stood outside the door to Dr. Banner’s lab after Natasha had explained the plan.

“I’ve trusted Bruce with my aliases, my life, and to not give the entire team food poisoning. He can keep one little secret,” Natasha replied as she knocked on the door.

“Natasha, Gamora,” he said as he opened the door, lab coat on and glasses askew. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

"Gamora here had a few questions for you. Can we talk privately?" said Natasha.

"Of course," Bruce answered, ushering them into his personal lab, a private antechamber off of the main "group lab" Tony, Bruce, Jane, and Peter shared.

“So what was it you wanted to ask me?" Bruce asked.

"As I am here on Terra, I thought I should know how certain Terran medicines might affect my body. If they're safe, if they're effective--that sort of thing," Gamora replied. "Natasha said you could help analyze the chemistry."

"I think that’s a great idea. Which drugs do you need to know about?" said Bruce.

Unsure of the names, Gamora looked to Natasha.

"Mifepristone and misoprostol," Natasha supplied.

Bruce stiffened. He took off his glasses and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Natasha, you know I'm not an M.D. Legally, safely, I can't give out prescription medication," he said wearily. 

"But you wouldn't have to," Natasha interjected. "I can take care of that. All you have to do is see if, theoretically, the drugs would work for Gamora’s species."

"All right," Bruce acquiesced. “But know that I can’t tell what exactly the medications will do. I can run allergy tests and see how they interact with your blood, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

"Thank you, Doctor," said Gamora. “I trust you will keep this to yourself? And any samples or data you receive will be destroyed immediately?”

“Of course,” said Bruce, extending his hand to shake. “You have my word.”

They shook hands, and Bruce cleared several stacks of paper off an old couch so they would have somewhere to sit. He took a few vials of Gamora’s blood while Natasha explained the plan. The goal was to be as anonymous and untraceable as possible. Natasha had already been in communication with one of her contacts in the city, who had ordered the pills under a false name. Once the medication arrived, Natasha would meet her contact at a coffee shop and pick up the medicine. Back at the Facility, Natasha would give Bruce one course of the medication for analysis and, if he didn’t find anything concerning, give the other course to Gamora. Gamora and Natasha would claim a "girls' night" (strictly for spies, of course, because otherwise Mantis would insist on joining) and hole up in Natasha's quarters until it was all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapters will be kind of short because I found the songs I thought fit the theme of each section before I knew how long/short each section would be. It seemed stupid to have epigraphs in the middle of a chapter, so separate chapters it is!


	2. Everything's Just Wonderful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_“Oh yes, I’m fine_  
>  _Everything’s just wonderful_  
>  _I’m having the time of my life”_  
>  \--Lily Allen**

By the time Gamora awoke the next morning, Natasha had already left to meet her contact. Nevertheless, it was still early, and Gamora was glad to avoid the rest of her (nosy) team by waking first. She was almost out of the Guardians’ quarters when she heard a rustling noise. She peered into the nearest bedroom to find the cause of the sound: Groot, asleep in a doll’s bed (courtesy of ~~Tony~~ Pepper), had kicked his blankets off. Gamora picked them up and gently tucked them in around the miniature Flora Colossus. Groot snuggled into the blankets, but didn’t wake. She gave the blankets a final pat before closing the door and heading down to the communal Facility kitchen.

* * *

The boy scaling the cabinets above her head was searching for something so intently that he didn’t notice her presence until she said, “Good morning.”

“What?” the boy said, whipping his head around too fast and catching it on the cabinet door. “Ow! Oh! Hi!”

“Do you need help with something?” Gamora asked as he kept rifling through boxes.

“No, no. I’ve just--ah ha! Got it!” The boy dropped to the ground, a box in one hand. “Really, I’m fine. It’s hot chocolate powder. I keep it there so the others don’t steal it--I’m the only one able to climb up there,” he said, a note a pride in his voice. “I’m Peter or, well, uh, Spiderman.”

“Right. I’m Gamora. We were introduced when I first arrived at the Facility.”

“Yeah, but I figured, you know, you hadn’t really seen me since and it seemed polite to introduce myself without Mr. Stark doing it for me,” Peter said with a shrug. “And I’m not at the Facility as much as the others because I live with my Aunt May most of the time, and I have to go to school and stuff like that.”

“Well, either way, it’s nice to meet you. Properly.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

He turned his back for a moment, fetching milk from the refrigerator and pouring it into a saucepan on the stove. Then suddenly, as if called to attention, he turned back to her.

“I’m sorry! Do you want some hot chocolate? I should have asked you before. I swear, I wasn’t trying to be rude,” said Peter sheepishly.

“Don’t worry yourself about it. But, yes, I’d like some. Thank you,” said Gamora.

“Cool. So, uh, have you ever had hot chocolate before?” Peter asked.

“I have. My...teammate is from this planet. But I didn’t know it was eaten at breakfast,” she said.

“Well, you can drink it almost any time, I guess. But I like to have it for breakfast. With toast. Do you have toast in space?” he asked as he whisked the milk in the pan.

“We do,” Gamora said patiently.

Peter stared down at the saucepan in embarrassment. 

“I suppose that was a dumb question. I guess I’m just getting used to the whole ‘aliens exist’ thing. I mean, like, I watched _The Cosmos_ , and my best friend, Ned, and I have seen _Star Wars_ like 20 times, but I just don’t know a lot of stuff.”

“Oh. _Star Wars_. I’ve heard of those films,” Gamora remarked.

“Really?” Peter exclaimed.

“Really. Peter, my Peter--Star Lord--is a fan of them. They’re the ones with the cowboy, Hans, and warrior, Leah, correct?”

“Han and Leia, but yeah! Oh my God, aliens know about _Star Wars_! This is going to blow Ned’s mind! It’s so meta!”

“So, is Ned also a superhero?” Gamora asked as Peter set two mugs of hot chocolate and two plates of toast on the table.

(Toast for which Gamora was very thankful, because her usual breakfast companions favored heartier, smellier fare, and each morning it was getting harder to hide her nausea. Though, she thought dryly, it wouldn’t much matter after today.)

“No, Ned’s just a regular human. But he’s super smart. He helps me with all the tech when I go patrolling…”

As she listened to Peter recount Ned’s and his adventures, her mind drifted to her Peter (when had she started using the possessive?), still asleep and blissfully unaware upstairs. But as she looked at the boy in front of her, she saw not “Star Lord,” but rather “Meredith Quill’s little boy,” who was thrust into a world of fear, violence, and danger just like the teenager before her. A protective instinct overcame her. She wanted nothing more than to save them from the suffering they had endured because of Thanos. But it was too late for them. The best she could do was prevent another child from sharing the same fate.

* * *

The day passed slowly as Gamora waited for Natasha to return. She took advantage of the hour during which the other Guardians were still asleep by sneaking onto the _Benatar_ to collect a few items of clothing, a med-scanner, and a bottle of pain relievers. Natasha had mentioned she would need some, and it seemed easiest to take one she knew was safe for her species rather than trouble Dr. Banner again. 

Unfortunately, Natasha’s arrival only meant more waiting. The hours spent waiting for Dr. Banner to analyze the compounds seemed eternal. Neither Gamora nor Natasha was able to focus on much of anything they tried to distract themselves with.

"What's going on with you?" Clint asked as he pinned Natasha to the mat for the third time that day. 

"Nothing," she said, kicking his legs from under him and fighting to stand. "Just going easy on you."

Clint didn't buy it, but he (wisely) kept his mouth shut. And, if he was being honest, he was enjoying having the upper hand for once.

Around time Clint and Natasha finished sparring and Groot won his second game of checkers against Gamora, Bruce called them down to the lab for the results.

In typical scientist fashion, Bruce very pointedly let them know that the only thing he could confirm was that in his experiment he didn't observe any adverse effects, and the drugs reacted the same way to Gamora's blood as it had to human blood in trials.

But that was good enough for Natasha and Gamora to set the rest of their plan in motion.

* * *

Gamora tried her hardest to act no different than usual. She played games with Groot. She sharpened her knives. She choked down lunch with the rest of the team, deliberately sitting far enough away from Mantis that she couldn’t accidentally touch her and read her emotions. It was an okay lunch, she decided, and had she been less nervous she might have enjoyed it. Steve had made something called a “casserole,” which Peter fondly recalled his mother making.

And, oh, Peter. If he noticed anything amiss about her, he must have brushed it off as hesitancy about their new surroundings. He was oblivious to how much effort she put into simply keeping her face neutral as he chattered on about other Terran things he remembered. He was the audience watching the show; she was the crew, dodging the lights, moving the pieces behind the curtain so he could suspend his disbelief. Perhaps she was too skilled at deception for her own good.

Keeping up the facade exhausted her. Her whole body buzzed with tension. As the day wore on, she became less and less confident in her ability to, as Peter would say, “play it cool.” This only added to the endless loop of thoughts going through her mind. _This shouldn’t be so hard_ , she thought. _All the stealth training in the galaxy, and I’m nearly combusting over keeping one little secret for one measly afternoon. Maybe I’m not cut out to fight Thanos after all? Maybe I’m doing all of this for nothing._

Fortunately, Natasha was the picture of nonchalance. At lunch, she engaged in Tony and Clint’s lively debate, and afterward, she helped Steve with the dishes, bantering with the team as if everything was ordinary. 

About a half hour after lunch, Natasha turned to Gamora and said, “We should really head upstairs before the afternoon gets away from us.”

“What for?” Tony asked with the smirk he always wore when he was about to push some buttons. “A slumber party? A girls’ night?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Natasha said.

“And do what? Braid each other’s hair? Watch Hallmark movies? Play MASH?” Tony snickered.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Gamora and I are going to spend some time bonding over our shared experiences: being women, being assassins, being forced to deal with exasperating people such as yourself.”

As she expected, the rest of the team was chuckling and joking at her expense, but she didn’t care. The fact that the others found this funny only served as a better cover.

“Look,” she finally said, “Laugh all you want, but the more comfortable we are with each other, the better we can work together.”

While Tony continued ribbing Natasha, Peter questioned Gamora.

“You didn’t tell me you made plans for tonight,” he said.

“We only decided on it this morning,” she lied, a defensive edge to her voice. 

“It’s totally fine! I just didn’t know you and Natasha were getting along so well,” said Peter. “But it’s great!”

“Yes. She’s been very understanding,” said Gamora.

“Well, have a good time, okay?” Peter said, giving her a quick kiss.

“Yeah,” she said absently, following Natasha into the hall and pretending she hadn’t just left a piece of her heart in the common room.

* * *

After a quick stop in the Guardian’s quarters to get her clothes and the pilfered supplies from the _Benatar_ , the two were back in Natasha’s quarters. Natasha made a beeline for a tote bag on the coffee table and pulled out several boxes of sanitary pads.

"I picked these up on my way back," said Natasha.

"Thank you," said Gamora. "I didn’t have many left on the _Benatar_."

"No problem.”

She reached back into the bag and took out a brightly wrapped package. She looked at Gamora apologetically and said, “I’m sorry about the wrapping. It was part of the cover--old friends catching up. Just in case anyone was watching.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Gamora. “I’m just thankful you were able to get it.”

“You’re welcome,” said Natasha as she ripped the package open. “You remember how this works?”

Gamora nodded. 

Natasha handed her a glass of water and pressed the pill into her palm.

“Okay. So you know you take this one first.”

She nodded again, staring down at the pill in her hand.

“Alright. I’ll give you a minute, then,” Natasha said, retreating into her bedroom to give the other woman some privacy.

Gamora took a deep breath...and swallowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I threw in the bit about Gamora tucking Groot as a small nod to the fact that many women who have abortions already have a child/children. Also, I'm just a sucker for Baby Groot.


	3. Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_“I must become a lion hearted girl_  
>  _Ready for a fight_  
>  _Before I make the final sacrifice…_  
>  _This is a gift, it comes with a price_  
>  _Who is the lamb and who is the knife?_  
>  _Midas is king and he holds me so tight_  
>  _And turns me to gold in the sunlight”_  
>  \--Florence and the Machine**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger/Content Warning: Pain/mentions thereof
> 
> Really short chapter this time, but it sets everything up for the next chapter

A few minutes later, Natasha returned.

“I don’t want to rush you,” she explained. “It’s just that there’s a schedule for the other meds...”

“Don’t worry. I’ve already taken it,” Gamora said flatly.

“Okay, then,” Natasha said in a way she hoped was soothing. “We should probably get set up. Comfortable clothes, heat pack, that sort of thing.”

“Right,” said Gamora.

“You can change in the bathroom,” Natasha continued. “I’ve already put the pads and the med-scanner in there.”

“Okay,” Gamora said as she picked up her clothes and made her way to the adjoining room.

While Gamora dressed, Natasha busied herself by tidying the apartment in the hopes of quelling her own panic. Was she doing this right? She didn't want to smother the other woman, but she also didn't want to seem callous. She wasn't used to dwelling on feelings, especially someone else's. She was logical, calculating, efficient. Not comforting. Not emotional. Not caring.

 _What about Clint?_ a voice inside her whispered. _And the rest of the Bartons. And your team? You care for them. Maybe even love them._

But that's not the same as _being_ caring.

 _What about the Lullaby?_ the voice prompted. _What about dealing with the Hulk and making sure Bruce is okay? That he's gotten food and sleep and hasn't been injured? Look at your actions, Natasha. You're more caring than you think._

Natasha bit her lip and fired up the kettle in the apartment's tiny kitchenette. By the time Gamora returned to the living area, Natasha had two cups of tea waiting.

Gamora frowned. “If you have a kettle up here, why were you in the kitchen the other day?”

“Sometimes I just like to see who might join me,” Natasha replied.

“Well, I’m glad you did.”

The two sat mostly in silence, though to her credit, Natasha made a few attempts at innocuous conversation. After a while, Natasha decided to cut the tension with some mindless entertainment.

“I don’t know what you do in space, but when I like to watch movies when I need to take my mind off things. It’s a nice distraction,” she said, reaching for the remote on the coffee table.

“I enjoy movies,” said Gamora.

“Oh? Which ones have you seen?”

“Just one, so far. Peter showed us all _Footloose_ when we first got here.”

Natasha scoffed. “You can play practically any video in the world on Stark Tech, watch Balanchine’s choreography or Lepeshinskaya’s _fouettes_ , and he chooses Kevin Bacon. Remind me to show you some real dance sometime.”

She looked over at the woman on the other side of the couch, tense and curled in on herself.

“But that will be another time,” she said. 

Natasha selected a movie from the list, picking one that seemed light-hearted and mindless. They both pretended to pay attention to it until, after several long hours, it came time to take the second medicine. 

As Natasha handed her the medicines (both the misoprostol and the pain reliever), Gamora pondered how sometime while they talked, a tiny bundle of cells inside her ceased to multiply. She downed the painkiller with the dregs of her tea and retreated to the bathroom to insert the other medicine. Then she slid onto the rim of Natasha’s bathtub, head in her hands, until the quiver in her breath went away. 

Once Gamora had been back in the living area for a few minutes, Natasha said, “Perhaps this is a stupid question--and please tell me if it is--but what color is your blood? Just so I know if something goes wrong...”

“It’s not a stupid question at all,” Gamora answered. “It’s green. Dark green. We keep bags of it in the medbay on the ship in case something goes wrong, like you said.”

“Good to know,” said Natasha. “But try not to worry much about if. It’s really quite safe. It wouldn’t be available if it wasn’t. Besides, Bruce checked it. I trust him with my life.”

“I know. But it was a good question. We’ve still got a war ahead of us.”

Natasha nodded grimly.

* * *

With Gamora’s accelerated metabolism, it didn’t take long for the Terran medication to take effect. It took longer, however, for the pain relievers to set in. Gamora was no stranger to pain--she’d been stabbed, shot, bloodied, bruised, and torn up more often than she could count--and so she could hardly say this even one of the most painful experiences she’d had, but she was well and truly miserable. It was around that time that Natasha suggested they relocate to the bedroom. Gamora crawled under the bedcovers, pleased to note there was already a towel covering Tony Stark’s crisp white sheets. Natasha came into the room a moment later, handing her a blessedly-warm heat pack before curling up in an overstuffed armchair and switching the movie back on, this time to the screen in the bedroom.

To be honest, Natasha was too busy sneaking glances at her patient to pay attention to the movie at all. After about ten minutes of watching Gamora wince as she tried to move slightly, Natasha left her chair and sat on top of the covers beside Gamora. She knew logically there wasn't much she could do, but seeing the other woman lying on the bed looking so different from the fierce ex-assassin, so small, so alone, she felt she couldn't just stand aside and watch her suffer.

“Can I touch you?” Natasha asked, hand hovering above Gamora’s head.

“Yes.”

Natasha brought her hand down, running it gently through Gamora’s hair and feeling the muscles beneath her fingers relax slightly. She’d become good at comforting dangerous green beings, she thought wryly. 

Meanwhile, Gamora had finally found some relief. The soothing feeling of Natasha’s hand in her hair gave her something to focus on other than her churning stomach and the dull ache in her abdomen that the pain relievers left behind. Sometime during the movie neither were really watching, tears began to escape her eyes. For as intimate a situation this was, they still hardly knew each other, so Natasha didn’t press for details. Instead she just kept stroking her hair and offering silent companionship and a box of tissues.

After a while, the movie ended, but the tears didn’t. It was then that Natasha finally spoke.

“I know you don’t know me well,” she said. “So is there someone else you would want to talk to? Even someone not staying in the Facility--we could call them.”

Gamora thought for a moment before saying, “Nebula. My sister.”

“Do you have a way to contact her?”

“My communicator is in my bag.”

“Alright, then,” said Natasha, looking relieved. “I’ll go and get us some dinner. That way you’ll have some privacy.”

“Thank you,” Gamora said as Natasha slipped out of her quarters.

Gamora took a moment to steel herself before grabbing her communicator and pressing her sister’s code.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Balanchine=George Balanchine, reknown ballet choreographer, most famous for his Nutcracker choreography  
> Lepeshinskaya=Olga Lepeshinskaya, a famous Soviet-Russian ballerina from the 1950s  
> Fouettes=translates to "whipped turns," one of the most difficult and impressive moves in ballet


	4. Voicemail For Jill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_“We can bring you cake and we can bring you flowers_  
>  _We can bring you wine and we can talk for hours_  
>  _Ukulele by request_  
>  _We’ll throw you the best_  
>  _Abortion shower”_  
>  \--Amanda Palmer**

Thanks to her battle-honed reflexes, Nebula picked up almost instantly. 

“Gamora,” she said, leaning forward in what appeared to be the pilot’s seat of her ship. “Where are you?”

“I’m on Terra. We were taking someone back here after we got a distress call. There is a team here, the Avengers, that is also trying to take down Thanos. A group of superhumans. We are staying with them for the time being,” Gamora explained.

“And you trust them?”

“Yes.”

Stars, she thought, this was probably the fastest she’d ever trusted anyone. It had taken her months to trust Peter enough to share something as innocuous as her favorite food; it took mere days for her to ask Natasha where to get an abortion. Maybe her time as a Guardian had made her trusting. Maybe it was knowing that all these Terrans were dangerous misfits, the same as her. Maybe it was desperation.

Nebula glanced at her sister, the wet shine on her green cheeks, the wince she tried to hide as she moved.

“Gamora?” she prompted.

“I did something foolish,” Gamora said, voice wavering slightly. 

“Go on.”

“I got pregnant.”

“ _Oh, Gamora_ ,” Nebula sighed. She opened her mouth only to be cut off.

“You don’t have chastise me for it, Nebula, I know. Just let me say it.”

“Alright.” She shifted back into her seat.

“I’m not an imbecile. I know I can’t fight Thanos in this condition. And I know I must fight him or else we’ll lose the whole universe. I’m handling it,” she ground out.

“When? Where?”

“Now. Here.”

“How?”

“There are pills that can do it on Terra, if you catch it early enough.”

“Who knows?”

“Two of the Avengers, Agent Romanoff, who got the pills for me, and Dr. Banner, who tested their chemistry to make sure they would be safe. I can trust them. Agent Romanoff is also a former assassin. And if she trusts Dr. Banner, then so do I.”

“And Peter?” asked Nebula

Gamora shook her head. “He doesn’t know. I didn’t tell him.”

“Oh, Gamora,” she said again, voice tender this time.

“I couldn’t. He can’t think practically. He’d wrap me in cotton wool, and the battle would be lost before it was fought. If given a choice between defeating Thanos and having our--” she choked on the words, “--baby, I’m not sure which he would choose.”

“Well,” said Nebula. “It’s a good thing it isn’t his choice to make.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“I just hate that _he_ is involved in this,” Gamora said, not talking about Peter anymore. “Everything feels all balled up. I’m choosing this, doing this to defeat him and he can’t stop me. And I’m doing all this to protect another child, prevent them from falling into his grasp, but at the same time...it’s like this is one more thing he’s taken from me.”

“I know,” Nebula said, surprisingly sympathetically. “Gamora, listen to me: We will get through this. We will beat him, if I have to rip every one of his lackeys limb from limb and wade through their blood to do it.”

Gamora rolled her eyes slightly. 

With the same decisiveness in her voice, Nebula continued, “And when this is all over, I will help you get off that rust bucket you call a ship, and we can have a drink together.

“Nebula...thank you,” Gamora breathed shakily.

“Anytime, sister,” Nebula said.

Gamora’s face twisted with emotion.

“I--I love you.”

“I know. Over and out.”

“Over and out,” Gamora echoed as the hologram disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but I wanted the interaction between the sisters to have the stage to itself.


	5. Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_“The rain came pouring down_  
>  _When I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe_  
>  _And by morning, gone was any trace of you_  
>  _I think I am finally clean.”_  
>  \--Taylor Swift**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger/Content Warning: Blood
> 
> Well, we've reached the end. Remember the chapter after this will be references, not part of the narrative.

By the time Gamora tidied herself up and gathered a fragile sort of composure, Natasha returned with dinner. She set a tray laden with bowls, mugs, and a plate of some kind of bread in the center of the bed before sitting cross-legged across from Gamora.

“Thank you,” said Gamora.

“You’re welcome. Though, I didn’t do much,” Natasha said. “Bruce made the soup. He said he thought you could use a pick-me-up. And he hopes you’re doing okay.”

“That was kind of him.”

“Yeah, he’s a sweetheart.”

“Why do Terrans always consume soup when they feel unwell?” asked Gamora as she stared into the bowl in her lap.

Natasha laughed warmly.

“Really,” said Gamora, smiling slightly. “Peter mentions it whenever anyone shows the first sign of illness.”

“I suppose it’s because soup is easy to make and easy on your stomach,” Natasha said. 

“Chicken and noodles are traditional, yes?”

“In America, at least. Bruce made this one, though, so he’s bound to have put his own twist on it.”

“Well, it is very good. You’ll have to thank Dr. Banner for me.”

* * *

The rest of the night was a lengthy blur of fitful sleep, trips to the bathroom, and movies viewed through half-focused eyes. After hours of this, dawn began to break. Natasha dozed in the armchair, somewhere between wakefulness and sleep. She watched as sunlight peeked through the gaps in the curtains and poured over Gamora’s sleeping form on the bed. Quietly, she rose and padded to the bathroom.

Soon, the others would begin to wake. First Clint, still on the “dad” sleep schedule. Then Steve and Bucky, then Bruce. Then Pepper, who would rouse Tony, who would rouse Peter, still tired from playing XBox late into the night with Ned. 

Natasha turned the tap to cold and reached under the sink for a brown bottle.

They’d eat breakfast (Gamora would explain away the wince every time she moved her torso as having pulled something in training). After breakfast, they’d talk strategy and then head to the training room (Gamora would stay on the sidelines, ostensibly to sharpen Godslayer or clean her blaster). Then, they’d be left to their own devices until it was time for bed (where she’d slip beneath the covers and feign a headache before things went farther than a kiss on the forehead).

Natasha tossed the towel from the night before into the basin.

_To everyone else_ , she thought as she watched the peroxide erase the dark green blood from the fabric, _today is going to be absolutely ordinary._


	6. References/Resources

I did a lot of research for this story because I wanted to portray the events as accurately and respectfully as possible. (Ex. the medications mentioned in the story are the actual names of the medications used in a medication abortion.) I also want my readers to be able to learn more if they so choose, and so I’ve compiled this list of the best sources I found.

Info about medication abortions, where you can access them, and how to get involved at [Aid Access](https://aidaccess.org/) and [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/abortion-pills/using-mifepristone-and-misoprostol/)

For a great overview of abortion, check out [This Podcast](https://gimletmedia.com/shows/science-vs/49hrde/abortion-what-you-need-to-know)

For an explanation of medication abortions (“abortion pills”), check out [The Mayo Clinic](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/medical-abortion/about/pac-20394687) or [Planned Parenthood](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill)

See an NIH study on the gap between taking the two medications [Here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15121556)

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has reports on [Fetal Awareness and Development](https://www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/guidelines/rcogfetalawarenesswpr0610.pdf) and [Best Practices for Abortion](https://www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/guidelines/best-practice-papers/best-practice-paper-2.pdf)

For more about fetal development, click [Here](https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/prenatal-care/art-20045302)

To share your stories, read others’ stories, and get involved, visit [Advocates for Youth](https://advocatesforyouth.org/abortion-out-loud/)


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